IIS 7, php and fastcgi

It all started with this:
HTTP Error 500.0 - Internal Server Error
C:\Program Files (x86)\PHP\v5.3\php-cgi.exe - The FastCGI process exited unexpectedly

And Faulting application name: php-cgi.exe, version:, time stamp: 0x4e537f4b
Faulting module name: MSVCR90.dll, version: 9.0.30729.4940, time stamp: 0x4ca2ef57
Exception code: 0xc0000005
Fault offset: 0x0003aefe
Faulting process id: 0xcbc
Faulting application start time: 0x01ccba9ed76d7828
Faulting application path: C:\Program Files (x86)\PHP\v5.3\php-cgi.exe
Faulting module path: C:\Windows\WinSxS\x86_microsoft.vc90.crt_1fc8b3b9a1e18e3b_9.0.30729.4940_none_50916076bcb9a742\MSVCR90.dll
Report Id: 158dd077-2692-11e1-9344-000c29f76d8e

1. Opened up permissions for the iusr account on web.config as recommended by MS

2. Checked Event Viewer and saw this:

3. Googled and found this:

4. Which led me to this

5. Which then got me thinking about how the hell you apply a patch:

6. And I downloaded this:

7. Except it didn't work with the --binary switch, I got "**** cannot read binary data from tty on this platform'

8. So I opened the patch file and added this code to database.inc, replacing

'/^RELEASE SAVEPOINT (.*)$/' => 'SELECT 1 /* $0 */',

9. Which led to an error in menu.inc
SELECT TOP(1) * FROM {menu_router} WHERE path IN () ORDER BY fit DESC; Array ( ) in menu_get_item() (line 445 of

10. So I went through and did it all again after deleting the db tables (the install configuration will error out if it finds the tables have already been created.)

11. And I got this message:
SQLSTATE[23000]: [Microsoft][SQL Server Native Client 10.0][SQL Server]Violation of PRIMARY KEY constraint 'registry_pkey'. Cannot insert duplicate key in object 'dbo.registry'.

12. Googled it, found people with the same problem but no fix.

13. Threw my hands up and said fuck it.

14. Looking for new Open Source CMS platform that works and allows me to skip steps during the install process :D.

Moral of the story: Jesus Christ Drupal is a pain in the ass and I'm ditching it for another CMS platform. Way too buggy and the install file is crap and won't let you skip steps (yes the db is already created.)

Windows 2008 server R2 SP1
SQL Server 2008
Commerce Guys Drupal

(Also if you plan on coming here going "HERP STOP USING IIS/MSSQL" I don't want to hear it. I'm not building another damned server because the Commerce Guys Drupal install doesn't work with a pretty typical config, thanks. I'm also starting to think Drupal is just buggy. I spent most of the day dealing with the regular Drupal package yesterday and couldn't get it to work then either. But I'll take any help. For now I'm scrapping the whole thing. At least I learned how to set up the php handlers in IIS :))

Edit: After my ranting I thought I'd give the Acquia install a go. Perfect, took 5 minutes.


This matter has been settled

Where else to say it but here? I have more in my Dr. Darm diary that I'll post at a later date but I had to say it.

It's finally over.

This matter has been settled.

Simple but beautiful words.


Finding an attorney

(This is a part in a series about my experiences with being sued and what the process is like. I hope it helps someone else who may or may not be in the same position. It’s helping me to write about it because it is terrifying and I’m pretty scared. Being sued is truly an existential kind of a thing (as my attorney put it.))

How the hell do I find a lawyer?

The next day I tapped my social network with a big stiff your-friend-is-being-sued-for-a-million-dollars index finger. I received some great referrals and found Linda, who I had a very good feeling about. What I didn't necessarily have a good feeling about was exactly how many attorneys my friends know. What are you up to guys?

But beyond the help I received, the stress was still awful. I couldn’t sleep, eat, concentrate and was walking around listless and on the verge of tears when I wasn’t working or on the phone. Besides work, it was a part time job contacting lawyers and so very tiring.

Unlike many of my friends I never had to find an attorney before. I didn't know what to look for or how to shop for one. It's not like buying a laptop or finding a new bike. It was more like interviewing for a job. You find out if you like them, if they like you. If they like what you have to offer and you approve.

The resource that was enormously helpful was the Electronic Frontier Foundation. They gave me advice and told me about a statute I'd never heard of before. The anti-SLAPP.

But no matter how exhausted I was, I was still taking Benadryl to get some rest. I wasn’t going to be any good at my job, to my husband to my friends, unless I rested. When his commercials came on it was a slap to the face. That’s the man that's suing me. I flipped over to Netflix.

If they wanted to chill my speech, they did. I was afraid to post anything in public, or say anything at all about the biggest event in my life.

That weekend I hid in the house and recharged. I was exhausted and stressed with having to choose an attorney, and still worried about losing what little I have. Every morning I woke up and every morning I had the crushing realization I was being sued for a million dollars.

I finally talked to Linda. And things got started.

There really wasn’t a lot for me to do at that point and that really bothered me. I felt like my fate was out of my hands and really, it was.


Being served and sued

(This is a part in a series about my experiences being sued and what the process, legalese, emotions and fear are like. Honestly, even posting this is equally as scary. But I hope it helps someone else who may or may not be in the same position. Finding a lawyer is tough, the emotions are tough, it's all pretty damned hard to deal with. It’s helping me to write about it, as the hearing on the 15th gets closer, it's becoming even realer (is that a word?) than it was when I was initially served. Being sued is truly an existential kind of a thing (as my attorney put it.))

On July 11th, I was scrambling to get my house in order for a small gathering of friends. Move the shoes, get the chairs, put the chips out in my record player bowl and put together a Philip Glass play list.

The knock came at 7:45, 15 minutes early and we were still tidying up. Though my friends know I’m a little disorganized and busy, I’d like to have them believe otherwise in some house-proud kind of a way. “They’re early! Damn them!” I shouted from the computer. Philip stopped, “there’s someone here for you?” Thinking I’d go to the door and find a 5-foot chicken or something equally bizarre, I was surprised to find a sunny blond woman holding a plain brown envelope.

I knew what it was. I’ve served people before. When I was about 18 I guess I didn’t look like a court employee, so I handed over documents at a construction site. She didn’t really look like a server either, or certainly not as you’d picture one. I usually see Ice-T or Christopher Meloni in my head whenever I think of courts (too much Law and Order I guess.)

I knew I could probably just look at her, shake my head no and not touch the envelope. But the court has a way of tracking people down and servers get creative. It would just delay the inevitable and I’d still be served. Besides, my curiosity got the better of me. What the hell could this possibly be about? Mystified, I reached out and touched it with my thumb and index finger “you’ve been served.” “For what?!” I exclaimed, more out of shock than an actual question.

“I don’t know, I’m just the server!” she called, rushing out of the courtyard. A speedy exit, I remembered, is important just after you've served someone.

As I closed the door I racked my brain for options. Maybe an old debt when I was young and stupid? Is there something I forgot to pay? Maybe some other court kind of a thing?

I looked at the envelope for a minute and opened it. I read through the discovery and the lawsuit. “Dr. Darm is suing me! Oh my god!” And then I saw the amount.

“For a million dollars.”

My brain raced 5000 miles a minute. Stress about house cleaning and my previous good mood evaporated. I was in shock. I was terrified. A million dollars is a frightening and extraordinary amount of money to someone like me.

Weird and not so weird thoughts passed through my head. Could they take my bike? (Worth nothing except it’s blue and covered in stars, it’s still one of my prized possessions.) How could I possibly pay anyone that much money without winning the lottery? Could they take my meagre 401k? How could I find someone to help me? I read and re-read the papers, shaking. What could I do? What were my options? How could I get help?

I knew one thing, I had to find an attorney.

But I had no idea how.