3.21.2009

Looking for friends in all the wrong places

It's been a while since I updated this site. We moved to Northwest Portland, a fairly expensive zip code, but so worth it. We're close to everything and getting around without a car is a breeze. My Mr. found a job after struggling with the Oregon Health Licensing Authority for almost 6 months. He passed his exams with flying colors.

He took a step down and works for a cheap chain. But he likes it and thinks that in these Difficult Economic Times that the higher end salons are going to suffer. He's likely correct.

We've left our LARP organization for good now. I can't abide by the things White Wolf does in the Camarilla. And it isn't the organization I joined in 1995. It's something else now and that something else isn't as good as it was.

And that leaves me with an issue. I have some friends here. But most of my old ones don't call and the ones that do, they have lives outside of us. I don't really feel comfortable forcing myself on them, so I don't. But without the Camarilla we don't have an easy way just to make a new social group. The one thing the Cam still did throughout it's recent difficulties was provide a very easy way of meeting people. I think it made me lazy.

My coworkers and my older friends will find this kind of odd, but I'm very shy. I also have a black and pretty offensive sense of humor. (I think my love of Brass Eye probably sums it up.) I keep it reigned in at work or other places where it isn't appropriate but I'd rather not when I'm out for a few beers. And I generally just have a hard time connecting with people. I come across as aloof, for pretty good reason, I like sizing people up before I start conversations. It saves me a lot of pain when I start laughing about Cat Girls and Furries.

And the friendliness I show at work or in other situations that call for it isn't natural. At clubs it takes me a good few drinks before I feel comfortable enough talking to someone I don't know. I'm a firm believer in fake it 'til you make it and fake it I do. And that takes a lot of energy.

So I have some obstacles to overcome. How do I make friends? How do I entertain myself now that my schedule isn't full? What do I enjoy doing besides gaming?

This is my list of things I enjoy:
- Making stuff. I love making things. Especially if it's from other things. Like pillows out of shirts. Or little flowers out of wire. Or fish from AOL DVDs.

- Blogging. I have a Wordpress blog, a Livejournal and a few Blogger blogs.

- Sustainability. Kind of goes back to enjoying Making Stuff.

- Rooting around Goodwill bins/random things for stuff.

- Cooking

- Drinking coffee

- Drinking alcohol

- Walking

- Photoblogging. A photographer I am not but I like documenting things.

- Microblogging. I'm not a Twitter fanatic, but it's an easy way of documenting things. Because I like documenting things, see?

- Yoga

- Dancing

- Art

- Music of all kinds

- Reading, pretty electic

It's a good list and I think enough to get me started back in the world. No more time to be lazy! My hope is the more things I do, the easier it will be to meet people. I figure if I get out of my comfort zone regularly, then eventually it won't be an issue. Right? We'll see how it goes!

2 comments:

Nil8r said...

No one would call me a social wallflower, but I definetely feel some anxiety in a situation where I don't know a soul. Having been out of the LARP circuit, I internet-searched for clubs/meetups based on interest. I occasionally hit a knitting circle, monthly scooter ride, bound to hit a "tweetup" soon and while I haven't found BFF's, it's broadened my perspective and acquaintance circle.

I still do a monthly book group with ex-Cam types, make sure to pencil in some coffee/dinner friend-dates with those I don't want to lose contact with.

To sum up - lots of people are shy/anxious about stepping out of their comfort zone, the other people you encounter are probably just as nervous (though their coping mechanisms will vary).

Anonymous said...

You do crafts,drink and have cats.
surpising.

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