Music Reviews In Tiny Bits

Back in December I started guest DJing at a Manchester club called ArA. It's great fun, especially for a music junkie like me. But I've reaffirmed my long held belief that most modern proclaimed 'goth' or 'industrial' music is appalling. If it isn't highly derivative, it's just dreadful banging around. The posturing and dark attitudes that go into fringe genres don't make it sound intimidating, it's just very silly.

Some things I've come across recently:

Klinik-Moving Hands: The worst German rip off crap but Belgian. The only people that would find this interesting are 14, dislike My Chemical Romance and hope the Cyborg revolution melts the 'mainstream.' Yet they all secretly watch Eurovision in Spongebob Square Paints pajamas. It's really just someone rambling about 'Moving Your Hands' in a sort of krautrock monotone over a dying drum machine. I think the band line up changed so much due to deep, deep shame.

D- It isn't noise.

Frank The Baptist-Scars Forever: It's unlikely I'd keep this on my iPod. I have no real reason to listen to it. Musically, it's very adept. Lyrically, well, they say 'sell me down the river' and 'black heart.' So, you know. There's nothing that really grips me about it though. It reminds me of Johnny Cash's reason for his early slow melodies, they couldn't play any faster. I'm curious about what else they do and it they have anything really gripping. It's not awful, just kind of.... eh. Two stars in iTunes. (And too obscure to hold on to for requests.)

Warning: The website is from the dregs of 1998 web design. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

C Ultimately, I'm not sure about any record called 'Scars Forever.'

Anomie-River: Pretty creepy and atmospheric. Reminds me of something you'd use for a haunted house. Something to keep in mind for creating feeling as opposed to listening for entertainment.

Their website has tons of free mp3s. And a twinkling background....

B Will keep for creepy factor.

Zombina and the Skeletones-Lost Boys: Crampsesque Rockabilly. Cutsey voice on the lead singer. Not particularly catchy, but decent and listenable.

B Ok background music, popular in Manchester and kind of local (Liverpool.)

Crud-Reality: Squealing woman in the background? Check. Slightly muted vintage voice? Check. Talking about killing? Check. KMFDM rip off? Check. Yeah, no. Reminds me too much of Powerman 5000. Bang, bang bang... reality.... Yeah. I don't know, they have some credibility. Detroit represent.

C Derivative. But not noise. And pretty energetic.

Deathline International-Can You Feel It?: THE WORLD IS UNDER ATTACK. It would be awesome if it was. Then I wouldn't have to listen to this awful, vile crap spewing from my headphones. Lots of 'can you feel it.' And if by it they mean nausea, then yes, I can feel it.

D Derivative. And awful. AWFUL.

I desperately need to clear up space on my hard drive. It is likely there will be more of these....