Now, occasionally, when I'm upset or annoyed at the world I like to do things to cheer myself up. Last week, in all of its dreadfulness, prompted the following letter to said MP:
Dear Mr. Johnson,
I tend not to write fan letters as they easily become embarrassing and a little gushy. I'll simply sum up my position as most decidedly pro-Boris and all things under the Boris Johnson banner. When I return to my country I shall tell wondrous tales of Boris Johnson and expose them to your wit and intelligence via the magic of YouTube. I noticed in your biography that you're actually American. How about returning and running for president? I would vote for you. If anything, the quality of the presidential debates would improve dramatically by your very presence.
My friends are also decidedly pro-Boris. So much so they've created a piece of propaganda specifically to further your cause. It's attached to this e-mail and I hope it brings you as much joy and amusement as it has us. The reference is from the popular animated television series Futurama, which has a hypnotic toad that controls the minds of the citizens of Earth via the television. We believe that if you could harness the power of the HypnoBoris, your rightful position as Prime Minister would be easily within reach.
I'll conclude my gushing fan letter by saying, in all seriousness, that your candor, wit and intelligence is proof that not all politicians have become bloated PC pansies paralyzed by their own self importance. In particular I greatly appreciate your attempts at getting the MP for Motherwell and Wishaw to clarify the term 'drunk' in 2003 and a wonderfully direct question regarding my government's failure to acknowledge the British government during the Iraq war in December. I only wish that my circumstances would allow me to run from Andy Burnham's constituency and into Henley.
Here is a link to HypnoBoris: http://homepage.ntlworld.com/robin.langridge/obeyboris.gif
Kind Regards,
Tiffany Craig
Today I received the following response:
Dear Tiffany
Thank you for your lovely letter, and I will see if I can get anyone to obey me with your picture.
Best wishes
Boris Johnson
(ps we have put it on the office wall, from frances, Boris’s secretary?
I am giddy with joy.
I've notified the creators of HypnoBoris who are also most giddy.
Hooray for Boris!
