I'm more afraid of the people enforcing the smoking ban.

Usual nonsense on homeward bound trains yesterday. Attempted to get home early, was thwarted by undeclared Blackpool train lateness. In such circumstances I usually light up in between trains. Train Buddy Dave and I had a quick peer around on the platform, no signs saying no smoking (except on the waiting room, but that's always been non-smoking.) So, I light a cigarette.

Within a moment I was tapped on the shoulder by an older woman in a blue jacket. "EXCUSE ME." I'm not so fond of the random touching by strangers so my blood pressure was rising. I shouldn't have paid her any mind but the horror of being tapped again by this insistent cow forced me to look over. "What?" "It's no smoking here." *sigh* "There aren't any signs or anything." "But it's ILLEGAL." God I wish it was illegal to be that irritating. And according to the laws I read, it's only indoor places. I'd hardly call a train station with two poles and a roof indoors. "You get someone who works here to tell me and I'll put it out." To which the poking old woman kept rambling about laws.

Then Smiley, station staff, said it was no smoking.

Ok then.

Train Buddy Dave and I wandered over to the stairs down to the station. I sat and as I was finishing my cigarette the guy in the ticket office came over the intercom and shouted at me: "NO SMOKING ON THE STATION." My response? "Sure" and stubbed it out.

For the record I'm all for a smoking ban in indoor places. It's cheaper and means Mr. Me won't hack the next morning. But to ban it on train platforms and force people to go up the stairs? What the shitting hell? People need something to do when their trains are (inevitably) late. Every time I light up I'm also now worried that some meddlesome, self righteous individual is going to shout at me. Fuck lady, you're doing more damage to your lungs just by being in Salford. My cigarette isn't going to kill you. And, for the love of god, you're lucky I didn't punch you when you touched me. Lesson for the day? Don't stab strangers in the arm with your withered little crone finger.

Here's a pygmy hog. Unrelated.