The kids aren't alright, they're grotesquely fat.

The Motherland is apparently producing masses of overweight children who can't fit into child safety seats.

The fact this piece even exists and was researched means someone had to notice. No doubt, someone with a fat kid. Here's a tip, you idiots, if your kid resembles the Stay Puffed Marshmallow man more than they do an actual child, stop feeding them so much crap.

The UK isn't entirely fatless either (though not huge to the extent of the rich and bountiful US.) And when I go grocery shopping it becomes very easy to see why. The fattest kids are always with the mothers who are laden down with chips, sugary drinks, massive chocolate eggs and highly processed chicken meat products.