8.30.2005

There's a weird Chinese guy in Mike's room.

My family were movie watching fiends when I was a little 'un. We used to sit down to absorb hacked up HBO family versions of various 80s productions including the Blues Brothers, Animal House, Eddie and the Cruisers and my absolute favorite one of all: Sixteen Candles. And even after HBO was no longer a part of our family home we still sat down in front of them with old tapes that smelled of head cleaner. They've been replaced by DVDs naturally but as far as I know those old tapes are still intact and laying around in my Mom's barn somewhere. Probably a good thing since I'm getting used to seeing films without having bits that sound like distant German.

I didn't actually get 3/4 of the humor in any of the above until I hit 16. I then went sheet white with a feeling of violation and thought to myself, 'I can't believe my parents let me watch that.' That being said, I never actually heard the swearing in the Penguin's office, I had to close my eyes for the scene with the Prom Queen in the shower and I had absolutely no idea what 'three sheets to the wind' meant. I certainly er, do now.

They were a formidable development influence. The tale of the high school ugly duckling gave me hope (er,) the mission from God introduced me to a very cool genre of music, Eddie taught me about Arthur Rimbaud and Tom Berenger. I also suspect that Jake himself played a large influence on my man taste. I doubt I'm alone... I mean, who besides straight men and lesbians could possibly resist his uber dreamy-ness? And Molly was my hero. She's the everygirl who just so happens to be worshipped by a troop of nerds that included John Cusack. John Cusack in a pack of nerds! How could you go wrong? I'm getting a little flushed just thinking about that special senior man whose parents had such a great car.

And someone is betting on that to make a bit of money. I can't even be all that cynical about t-shirts that feature Jake Ryan and the king of the dipshits, he wouldn't like it and then who would I have to blow my birthday candles out with?

I ask you, have you ever done it?

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